We are not Angels: 

In the Islamic tradition , there is a beautiful and heartbreaking story of Iblis, the Archangel whose only function was to continuously worship God. He had been created to be God’s ultimate mirror, and so he was.  Until the day that God created Adam and enjoined Iblis to worship his creature.  Iblis refused.  His nature was made to only worship God.  He said to God, I cannot bow to Adam, I can only bow to You. God said:  refuse and I will exile you from Heaven.  It is said that Iblis’s NO reverberated through eternity as he fell from Heaven to become Satan, the evil one.  The story is always told from the perspective that it was his pride that led him to refuse, he was after all made by the fire of God, Adam was clay.  His is a cautionary tale. 

Iblis.  Satan.  The one who had the courage and the fortitude to withstand the exile from the Beloved was demonized because he did not abandon his innate nature.  He paid the price of refusing to abandon himself and became the despised one.

Think of a child who grows up in a family in which the parent’s needs are paramount.  Mother is an adolescent stuck in sex, drugs and rock and roll.  The Child becomes the parent.  Mother is a narcissist who insists the child has to become the mirror of her perfection to the world. Single mother struggling to get by, don’t have needs because it pains her.  Father is an angry vengeful man whose burst of violence force the Child to become a protector of the family, either by fighting or fawning.  Hit me, Daddy, hit me, not the baby! 

Sometimes it’s more subtle, no external signs but nuanced energies that clearly communicate, mom or dad are sad, be good, be quiet, be attentive, be playful.  Mom sits in the living room crying, dad sits quiet in the corner, reading.  All messages clearly ‘heard’ without a word being spoken. 

We must survive at all costs, without a connection, albeit tenuous to the caregiver,  we are alone, terrified and annihilated. That is intolerable, so  Child the child learns to say Yes to the other and to abandon itself.  To the parents, to the perpetrators, to the boss who is unreasonable, the needy neighbor , anyone else’s needs are primary.

You want me to drive to the store for you even though I really need to stay home?  Sure.  You need me to x, y, z, Yes, Yes, Yes.  And then the depletion, the exhaustion, the despair. And the refrain, how could you be so selfish?  Think of others.  Who do you think you are?  Aren’t you the lucky one, you’re so privileged. 

And the litany goes on and on.  And the little child, terrified in the corner, says No No No to itself, don’t want, don’t’ say No to them.  For if you do, you will be the Satan in the house, how could you do this to your mother, father, sister, brother, family.  How could you not stay late and finish the report, how could you not go to the meeting on a Saturday or Sunday, how can you say NO?

That is the tragedy of those who are demonized, not only by others, but by ourselves when we say No to them and Yes to us?  That is our work in our internal world, to learn to listen to the small, scared voice who says”  “I don’t want to”  And then, like Iblis, takes the plunge into No!  We are not angels, we do not live forever, we are humans who are given this life to learn not to abandon ourselves. When we say no, we are also given the freedom to say Yes to those who love us deeply, respect our inner world, rejoice in our freedom from the inner demonic oppression. We are free to say Yes to causes that truly align with our innate nature, to say Yes to the unlikely companions.  We are not angels, but surely, surely, we can live a more free and ample human life.

 

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Saying Yes to the Unreasonable
In today's world, we are faced with irrational and unreasonable events, this is a reflection based on the Annunciation of Mary, because, while it is not Christmas, transformation is an ongoing event.  

 
After Annunciation
This is the irrational season
When love blooms bright and wild.
Had Mary been filled with reason
There’d have been no room for the child.     
Madeline L’Engle

            What a multitude of miracles we may have missed throughout our lives, filled as we are, with good reasons for doing or not doing.  There is a certain elegance about those lines, “had Mary been filled with reason” that strike at the core of our human experience.  We want to know, to make order and sense, to tidy the world into boxes that will not tumble or fall.  In an effort to stay safe in the familiar, we populate our inner life with shoulds, oughts and musts, or, in some cases, must nots.
            This is all true.  Yet there is a deeper wisdom to be gleaned from these words.  Had Mary been filled with reason, that is, filled with the conscious effort to order the world, there would not have been space for Logos, the ordering spirit of the divine.  That is a powerful image for those of us who seek to understand the movements of the holy in our lives. And by the holy, I am not speaking of the gods and goddesses we have named that clothe the ineffable, but of the numinous mystery itself.
            I am reminded of the statue of Shiva Nataraja, the Hindu Lord of the Dance, dancing on the back of a supine human.  All along, we are looking at our human concerns, belly button gazing at the lint of life lived small, when above us, around us, dances the divine magnificent presence.  When we fill our minds with the effort to understand what is not explicable, we close off the opportunity to experience the miracle of being awakened to a new state of awareness.  The reason is simple:  we are terrified of taking up the mandate of what the holy calls us to become.
            It wasn’t easy for a young woman to submit her will to that of the unknowable, to risk being transformed from an adolescent into a woman who would bear the burden of birthing a life destined to death.  Forget the resurrection, at that moment of saying yes to the irrational, the unreasonable, she was saying yes to the process of being transformed, broken and broken open. Madonna and Mater Dolorosa, Virgin and Weeping Mother, what immeasurable joy and suffering are there contained!
            There are a million reasons to deny the call of the holy, of our unique destinies-loss of family, reputation, safety, loss of our familiar and comforting spot in the world.  There is no good reason to submit to the mystery that would ask the world of us, take it away and then give it back transformed.  Except that, to follow reason only robs us of the unique gift living our lives imbued with the Spirit of our lives.  So much more can be said about Mary, about this poem, about the masculine and feminine worlds.  But for now, hush, listen and perhaps the lily will bend to your ear and whisper the words meant only for you. 
 
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The Rev. Dr. Silvia Behrend is a Unitarian Universalist minister in private practice.  She writes and speaks about matters of the Soul, as well as what matters to Soul

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Counseling, Mentoring, Coaching for a whole and healthy life